Nature's Blessing

Show me a man
Whose blood is coursing through his veins
Whose passion is burning
And Purpose clear
And I will show you a Red Rose in Full bloom
With morning’s first dew sitting on each petal like confetti
Reflecting the glorious beams of warm sunlight
Each droplet shines and dances
Joyous to be alive
Not wanting more
Not wanting less
Being its glorious self
How magnificent... Nature’s blessing.

Forced to Abdicate

Here I am on a week day, at home. I can barely talk (my voice is gone). My throat & chest feels like they are on fire. There is a consistent throbbing pain behind my right eye, my head feels like it's burning & the pressure behind my eyes & nose, well I can hardly breath..... But thank goodness I can still type with my fingers.

I am working from home today because I do not want to infect any of my co-workers. There are some compassionate people I work with that keep telling me to "go home" and "get some rest"...Not to mention one co-worker's consistent recommendation to "Lysol my desk".....With my eyes red & watery, and my head feeling like it's about to explode, I finally took their advice/hint.

"But I am Superwoman.... I am STILL going to work from home & save the world!!"

I am a software trainer and on this particular day, I had a 2 hour phone training scheduled with my biggest client to date.... "No worries!!.... I'll do the training from home".... 3 hours before the training, my manager emails me "Are you sure you can go through with the training?"....

"Well of course !! I am Superwoman!!... It's just a 2 hour training... Don't worry Mr President... 'I' won't let you down!!"....

As the hands on the clock tick away, I notice that I am making frequent visits to the "bucket" to chuck up and of course there is no one at home to hold my hair back....

Then right in the middle of yet another session of projectile vomiting.... it occurred to me... "Hello??? You CANNOT last 10 minutes without being overcome with nausea... Not to mention your voice.... or lack there of!!!!! Give up the Superwoman act!!!".

And that was when I decided to finally abdicate.

"Manager, please have them reschedule my training session"

It was done.

How many of you push push and push yourself to the limit and even when your body tries to tell you to STOP!!! You still try to stop a steam train!!... This is a re-occuring theme in my life, but each time it happens, I am reminded that I have a choice. You have a choice, you always have a choice. If you push yourself too hard, the only person you end up letting down is yourself.

"Mr President... Superwoman is currently under attack of the microbes.. she has quarrantined herself in her quarters until she wins the battle..... At which point she will resume her duties to save the world!!!"

Thanks for reading.... got to go & fight the microbes.... Good night!

Are you a Good Receiver?

One of the things I've been practicing is being a good receiver. Sounds easy, right? Wrong... well at least for me. It was about 2 years ago when I woke up to the fact that I was a poor receiver. I had no problems in giving though... and thus the disparity. For example, I'd be in a fashion store & see a really nice sweater that I adored. I'd buy it, but send it to my sister in Australia.

But it doesn't just stop at material things either. One thing I constantly find challenging is to ask for help. Yes I would help anybody, especially if they asked for it... but asking of others?... Noooo.... that is just not done!!

About 2 years ago, I put myself through a ground-breaking 6-month Leadership course, where I uncovered all sorts of blind-spots about my own behaviors. Since then I've been much better about being courageous, such as picking up the phone or emailing friends to ask for their help when I needed it. I've discovered it is not as difficult as my "mind" tells me it is (darn mind.. don't you hate that darn mind... it messes everything up ;-)

What I've learned is my own "resistance" in doing something (such as picking up the phone) takes more energy than the actual doing. For example, one of my goals is to become an effective public speaker. I feel it is my passion or duty to reach my full potential as a speaker. Yes, I love it. But more importantly, it's a tool that if used wisely can influence the world for the better.

So here I was, about to enter a public speaking contest (I'm a huge fan of such a challenge because by going outside your comfort zone, the growth you experience is exponential. You are "forced" to work on aspects of your craft/science that you otherwise may not). One of my public speaking coaches that I respect greatly, Ed, says that it's best to practice speaking in front of a live audience. It's been a breakthrough for me to ask people to be my "test audience". So 2 weeks ago, I emailed a dozen friends in the local area, asking them if they would show up at my place at 4pm on a Saturday (with 1 days notice), and to my surprise, 6 of them show up, punctual, full of energy & tones of useful feedback.

Once again, the Universe provided, once I got out of my own way. The thing I discovered is that people, especially friends, are very very willing to help & be of service, if only you would let them.

Imagine there are 2 bar graphs, side by side. One bar represents "Giving" and the other one represents "Receiving". Now imagine that the 2 bars increase in height (like a battery life indicators). There is only 1 rule. The 2 bar graphs must be relatively even. If the "giving" bar gets higher and higher, and the "receiving" bar is low... then the "giving" bar stops growing... in which case, you must increase the "receiving" bar before the "giving" bar can continue to rise.

In summary, If you give give give and do not receive, then you are depleting your resources and disabling yourself to continue to give, which defeats the purpose.

So.... Give your heart out! and receive with open arms!!

The fine line between the Tangible & Intangible

When I was growing up, there was a strong stipulation towards mathamatics and science. I respected anything that could be proven by science and math and was unimpressed by things that could not.

Now as an adult, I look back and see how narrowly-focused I had been.

Perhaps not everything can be explained by science, or at least science as we currently know it, or indeed science that we as human beings are ever capable of understanding. I do not have all of the answers, but I don't think that matters. What matters is that I am asking questions. What matters is that we all continue to ask questions.

What I'm discovering is that the concept of "absolute" truth is itself questionable. We've all heard that beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Now consider that "truth" is also in the eye of the beholder. What is true varies from person to person. What's more, what is the truth in your world today, may not be the truth for you tomorrow. There seems to be a certain elasticity when it comes to one's view of the truth.

Recently, I saw the movie "Contact". I love movies that have multiple underlying themes. The main character that Jodie Foster portrays, Elenor Arroway (Ellie) is an astronomer, whose passion in life is to listen to the noise of space in search of Intelligent Extraterrestial life. Her love for the stars began as a young child, studying the night sky with her beloved father, who died of heart problems when she was 10 years old. As an adult, her excellence in science led to many recognized awards and a successful career. Ellie admits that she needs scientific data to "believe" anything. She meets and falls in love with Palmer Joss (played by Mathew McConaughey), who thinks very differently than she does. He is a highly-regarded, well-respected man of faith, who feels that technology has not really improved lives as much as it has led to human beings feeling more 'empty'.

There is a great scene mid-way through the movie when Ellie challenges Palmer on the existance of God. She argues that as a scientist, she must have the imperical evidence. Palmer surprises her by asking her to "prove" that she loved her father.

Without spoiling the movie, Ellie ends up having an extraordinary experience of space travel, which fundamentally changes her entire understanding of the world. Upon returning from this amazing adventure, she finds herself having to defend the tales of experiences, because she did not bring back any "proof". It is here that the tables turn on Ellie. She now finds herself knowing on a visceral level that what she experienced was indeed profound and must be passed onto the rest of the human race, but cannot produce any evidence to support her claims.

My favorite part of the movie is towards the end, when Ellie exits the hearing. A herd of reporters asks Palmer what he thought of the whole situation. His response was "As a man of faith, I am bound by a different covenant than Doctor Arroway. But our goal is one and the same, the pursuit of truth."

That one statement, to me, sums it up. It does not matter whether science is better than or truer than belief and Faith. What matters is that we keep searching for the ultimate truth, for ourselves and collectively, for the human race.

What My Niece Teaches Me

I have one niece, her name is Natalie. She is the love of my life. Sometimes, I am still suspended in disbelief that I was there to witness the first week of her life, in Sydney Australia where I'm from (I now live in Boston).

A tiny human being, with wrinkly reddish skin, eyes barely open. She is the first grand child of our family, so much celebration was had. I felt immediately connected to this little bundle of life. There's something about that blood connection (she's my older sister's daughter) that creates an instant bond that only blood can grant.

Even as I sit here at my computer, I have a photo of her stuck on my monitor from a few years ago. When I am overwhelmed by a challenging day, I glance down at her portrait as a way to vacuum myself back out to what really counts.

Being an aunty is the BEST job in the world. From the time she was 0, I have had the immense joy and privilege of spoiling her. One time when she was 3, her mum (my sister) said to me "You had better stop spoiling her rotten", to which came little Miss 3's retort "But I LIKE being spoiled!!!" I laughed so hard my belly ached.
That day, my niece taught me that sometimes, it's best to say the obvious.

When the movie 'Chicken Run' came out, my sister and I took Natalie to the cinema to see it. Afterwards, we went across the road to have her favorite, McDonald's. As we settled at a table and Natalie was smiling down at her Happy meal, I asked her the natural question, "Natalie, did you enjoy the movie?" She scrunched her eyebrows up to reveal a young face deep in thought. A few seconds later, she replied "I did, but I'm still a bit confused."
"Oh, what are you confused about?", I asked curiously.
"I still don't understand why the farmer has to kill the chickens", she replied as she munched away on a chicken nugget dipped in sweet and sour sauce.
That day, my niece taught me to treasure innocence.

When I lived in Sydney I frequently offered to babysit Natalie. One weekend when she was in Kindergarden, I had spent an entire day with her, sharing plenty of aunty/niece activities such as make-belief tea parties with her Barbie dolls, hide-and-seek, playing shopkeeper with her pretend plastic supermarket 'products' as well as jump rope. After an exhausting day (she refused to take an afternoon cat nap because "cat naps are for babies"), I opted for a game rooted in pure 'conversation'. "Natalie, what do you want to be when you grow up?" The answer that came was instantaneous. There was no doubt in her mind what her future ambition was. With a huge smile, and a sparkle in her eye, she excitedly shouted "WHEN I GROW UP, I WANT TO BE AN AUNTY!!".
That day, my niece taught me what it's like to have your heart melt.

When I was cleaning my house one very overdue Spring, my sister visited with Natalie. "Oh good, you're here" I said to my sister. "I found this typewriter that belonged to you when you were learning how to type, you should take it home for keepsake, otherwise it's just going in the trash". Natalie witnessed this scene and at once looked bewildered and puzzled by the foreign object that was the topic of our discussion. "WHAT'S THAT????" she demanded to know as she pointed to the typewriter.
"Well, it's a typewriter Natalie", I responded. "It's used for typing, you know, before they had computers", I continued.
Once again, she scrunched up her eyebrows up to produce a look of complete perplexity, as though someone had just broken her entire understanding of the world. This expression was followed by the squeeky roar of "BEFORE there were computers??!!!!????!!!!"
That day, my niece taught me that I am an old fuddy duddy.

Almost a decade has passed since those days, Natalie is now 13 years of age. Recently, I had my wedding here in Boston. My sister, my brother-in-law & their 4 kids flew out all the way from Sydney Australia to participate. I'm so proud to say that my niece Natalie was one of my bridesmaids. I was naturally very happy to have my family here to share my special day with. But the real unexpected joy came from being able to share the little details of being a bride with my treasured niece. I loved that we got our nails painted together. The night before the wedding, Natalie and I stayed together at the Sheraton hotel (near the place of the wedding), where my other bridesmaids were going to join us the next day to get ready. That night, I had a disagreement on the phone with my sister about who was going to give speeches at the wedding reception. I felt myself crumbling under the pressure of executing a stress-free wedding after nearly a year of stress-FULL planning. When Natalie saw how visibly upset I was, she quitely tip-toed up to me and gave me a bear hug.
That day, my niece taught me how to love and how to be gentle.

The next morning, the morning of the wedding, we ordered some room-service breakfast and Natalie and I got to enjoy some quality 'niece/aunty' time. I am extremely delighted that I was able to provide Natalie with the experience of getting her hair and makeup done, and more importantly, being able to share my special day with my special girl. Of course I made certain the makeup artist gave her a light natural look to match her tender age (Natalie is very 'young' for her age).

That day, my niece taught me that no matter how special a day is anticipated to be, it is the most special when you can share that experience with someone who is special in your heart : my niece.........my teacher.

Stones in the River

An old man taking a leisurely stroll stumbles upon a young man sitting by the river bank, throwing pebbles into the water.
Noticing that the young man wore a worrisome expression, he engages him,
"Young man, why are you throwing stones into the river?"
"I am trying to distract myself from my stresses", the young man replied.
"Why don't you tell me what's troubling you? A burden shared is a burden halved", the old man suggested.
"Well, I've just been fired from my job, my son is sick and my wfie is threatening to leave me".
"That is indeed a lot to take.... May I share with you my own experience?" the old man asked.
"At this point I am open to any suggestions", the young man exclaimed.
"What will you do now that you are fired?"
"I don't know"
"Suppose you did know, what would you do?"
"I would look for another job I guess".
"What is so bad about that?" The old man asked.
"It's embarassing to say I was fired from my previous job".
"In what way?"
"I mean, I was not successful".
"Define success?"
"Success is happiness."
"Does one's job make one happy?"
"To some degree, yes".
"If your ex-boss said he made a mistake, and you can have your job back, would you be successful?"
"Kind of, I guess, yes."
"And what if your sick boy died tomorrow, would you still be successful?"
The young man's face drained of color at this hypothetical question.
"I see your point", he replied.
The old man continued, "And what if your wife DID leave you?" He asked. "How would you feel"?
"Sad and hurt", the young man offered.
"Unloved?" the old man probed.
"Yes, like I lost love", the young man admitted.
"Do you have love in your own heart?" Continued the old man.
"Yes, of course... a lot of it!", the young man replied, now a little aggitated.
"Then how would you have lost love?
"I see your point", the young man replied, now almost sheepishly.
"My dear child, one's occupation or status in society does not make one great, happy or successful. It may give the illusion of happiness, but that state is ephemeral. Chasing that kind of happiness leaves one chasing one's tail for life. Love does not come from someone else. That is not real love. That is the illusion of love. Real love comes from within your own heart, and that never leaves you no matter how battered your ego becomes. Always remember that".

The young man was silent now. He looked at the river, listening to the soothing sounds of the running streams. He pondered the words of the old man.
"But it is still hard", the young man finally said.
"Yes, life was not meant to be easy. It is the challenging experiences that allow you to know who you really are".
"Who am I?", the young man asked.
The old man said nothing.
"Who am I?" the young man asked once more.
Again the old man said nothing. Now frustrated, the young man screamed "WHO AM I?"
The old man smiled and softly said
"I already know, now it's your turn to know".

The Journey Of Relationships

I have heard that Hindsight is 20/20 vision. If that is the case, then going through the experience itself is surely a prerequisite to the insights in the first place, warts'n all.

Having accumulated my fair share of relationship encounters, I dedicate the following to those still seeking their ideal love or have travelled the path.

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Relationships are a tough terrain to navigate.
You may have in your possession a compass of past mistakes
And rubber soles thick from your heart's previous rips.
You may even have the "I will conquer this once and for all" attitude.

After the initial glee & excitement of a traveller setting foot on new land
After the novelty has eroded,
You find yourself in desolate unchartered territory,
Feeling alone, lost and afraid.

You question your decision to have come here in the first place.
Somewhere in the distance, you assume, you hope, there exists an oasis.
There, you would jump into pools of beautiful blue water.
There, you would find joy, wrap yourself in the luxury of laughter, your soul's true desire.

As the vision of this paradise fades before your eyes,
It is replaced by a sand storm, corrosive against your pupils.
Tears well up in the corner of your eyes as the excruciating pain of the dust stings your core.
And now the tears come from the depths of your struggling spirit.

Why had you come here?
Why had you foolishly subjected yourself to this torture?
And the pain... the sharp pain that is drowning your heart.
All for what?... for the unanswered promise of a happy land.

You let out a loud scream!
But your echos are drowned out by the howling chaos all around you.
You sob and sob. You wail and wail, releasing your desperate cries of torment.
But no one hears you.

You have lost all bearings.
You curl up in a fetal position on the ground,
Helpless, forlorn,
Surrendering to the cruelty of the desert storm.

Seconds and minutes go by,
Hours, Days,
You have lost count.
There is no clock.

As you re-engage conscious thought,
You realize that the sand storm has passed
And you are now surrounded by silence,
A peaceful calm seems to be holding you now.

Gradually, you lift your face from behind your own hands.
The wrath of nature has indeed disappeared
Substituted by the serene caress
Of a hopeful breeze.

You release a deep sigh, gather your strength
And take yet another step into the unknown lands,
Towards the direction of the Sun in the horizon,
Towards the image of the paradise you foresaw in your dreams.

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