In practicing conscious awareness, I have been observing my own resistance. I'm discovering that when you dread, avoid or procrastinate doing something, it's usually because there are 2 opposing forces battling it out inside you. It's very subtle though, so you have to pay attention (hence the term conscious awareness), otherwise patterns of the past, unconscious behaviors run the show. The affirmative internal self knows that the action must be taken, should be taken, ought to be taken. But the negative side says 'no, no, leave me alone, I just want to play, I don't want responsibility'. These 2 goals are incongruent and therefore, the struggle.
The secret is to practice noticing the mini civil war within. For me, I use a narrator of my observer self.
'OK, it's time to go grocery shopping again. I am aware that I am rolling my eyes, I am
aware of the tightness in my chest, the shortness of breath, the drooping of my
shoulders, the tightness in my stomach. I am aware that I don't want to go.'
Through this running commentary in my head, I am able to distinguish that putting up an internal fight is completely driven by patterns of the past. For example, I've always disliked going food shopping, so when I need to go, I experience great resistance. A gem that I've discovered is that you can actually let go of the resistance. Again, it's very subtle. You have to consciously cause it. You cause it by first taking a deep breath through your nose and pull your shoulders back. It also helps to smile. Basically, you are consciously initiating a different state of being. I am reminded of an Anthony Robbin's teaching, a change in physiology alters your state.
In acting class, there is a warm-up exercise where you take a deep breath in through your nose, hold your breath and as you exhale, you say out loud "Let go". That is exactly what you do when you give up resisting taking some form of action.
T Harv Ecker mentioned in a seminar "it's amazing that you can resist and resist and resist, and your legs can still move over to where you need to take action".
My Leadership course instructor used to say "You can access heaven by going with the flow, or you can get there kicking and screaming. It's up to you".
